Is praising kids for eating ok?

Praising our children for eating something new or green comes naturally. Perhaps you clap, say “well done, good boy for trying?”, give him a big smile, a new sticker or a pudding at the end of the meal. Some schools and nurseries reward kids with stickers saying “I ate all my lunch today”.

All these practices can be counter-productive. Children may initially try to eat the food in exchange for praise but the effect is unlikely to be long-lasting. It also encourages children to ignore their innate satiety cues and to associate eating with feeling good, which in turn might lead to emotional eating in the future.

Rewards may temporarily make a child eat more. However, giving rewards tells them that it is a desirable and laudable behaviour. Praising your child for eating well, sends a message that they can get attention from you by choosing not to eat.

Ideally, the choices your child makes about how much of their meals they eat, shouldn’t precipitate any emotional response from you whatsoever. They should take responsibility for their decisions and experience the consequences.

Once they’ve got the message that it doesn't matter to you how much they eat, you’ve taken away a big part of their incentives to refuse food. As a result, your child’s motivation to eat becomes internal, not external.

Instead of:

“Good job, well done for finishing your plate!”

“Well done, you’ve eaten your broccoli!”

“Good boy, you’re such a good eater!”

try:

“You seem to be really enjoying your lunch. I love it too.”

“Have you had enough? How does your tummy feel?”

“Thank you for staying at the table with us. I really enjoyed our time together.”

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Viola

Peas and Love