Did children use to be less fussy than they are now?
I don’t know…. I’m not aware of any scientific research that would compare the level of fussiness now and, say, 30 years ago.
What I do know is that we recognise it and worry about it much more than we used to.
My mum used to cook and rotate maybe 7 dishes for dinner. It wasn’t unusual in the 80’s when I was a kid. I knew what to expect and knew that tomato soup always tasted exactly the same. My mum wasn’t a particularly adventurous cook and neither was any other mum I knew. There was no internet with access to an unlimited number of recipes for dishes from all over the world. I didn’t know sushi, curry or even what an avocado was. All 7 dishes my mum cooked were a little boring but also familiar and comforting.
I now have about 100 cookbooks on my shelves. I love experimenting and trying new recipes and ingredients. I rarely cook the same dish more than a few times. I get bored quickly and look for a new challenge. My poor daughter never knows what will end up on her plate….
Paradoxically, foodie parents often end up with fussier kids because kids find this scenario difficult. Children like what is familiar and predictable. Our experiments with flavour, smell and texture of our dishes mean our kids don’t know what their food might taste like and their natural reaction is rejection.
Toddlers learn how to move and control their body and all of its functions. Choosing what foods to put on their plate and choosing whether or not to swallow that food is another area they like to control. But parents think it’s their responsibility to manage their kids’ eating.
Nowadays, there is enormous pressure on parents to feed children nutritiously. Kids sense the pressure and get that mealtime is something parents really care about. The power struggle begins...
The more we care and worry about nutrition, the more likely we are to have fussy eaters in our family. The first thing you need to do in order to help your kids become more adventurous eaters, is to give up your control and learn to trust your kids and their eating instinct.
One of the kids I have worked with, used to live on pasta and rice crackers. She would not try anything else and was driving her parents nuts… Before our first appointment I asked the parents to send me a short video of a typical family dinner. It didn’t take me long to notice that the whole family is finding the meal time very stressful. The parents were putting a lot of pressure on the girl to try vegetables and meat. It wasn’t “old school” pressure like force-feeding; the parents were cajoling, bribing, negotiating and... absolutely nothing worked.
It takes time and quite a lot of effort to un-learn some of the techniques we use when we want to get our children to eat. They are counter-productive and as a result, our kids clam up and do the opposite. This is a perfect example of a very common power struggle. The more we try, the more our kids will want to regain their control. Vicious circle begins…
My job is to help you change this pattern and learn how to trust your kids’ eating instinct. If you don’t know where to start or are not sure whether your child needs any professional help, book your free 30 minute consultation here:
http://www.peasnlove.co.uk/free-consultation/