Let them eat sweets.
Our children don’t live in a bubble. We can’t protect them from everything “evil”. No matter how much we hate sugar, how much we believe that it’s the main cause of most XXI century epidemics, our kids will eat it. Maybe not now, when we can still control (more or less) what ends up on their plate, but later, when they go to school with their own pocket money and stuff themselves with chocolate simply because it’s “forbidden fruit” that was hidden from them for years.
As one of The Guardian columnists wrote once: “One of the accusations frequently made against sweets is that, in nutritional terms, they represent "empty calories". But any child knows that the calories derived from sweets are not empty. They are full of joy”.
All respectable health organizations agree that the consumption of TOO MUCH sugar can lead to certain health problems. There is no doubt about it. But I believe the best way to help your child build a healthy relationship with sugar is through understanding what it is, why children crave it and by teaching them that the sweet flavour is just one of many and it can and should be enjoyed as much as any other. There is a time and place for spinach, fish fingers AND for cake. A little bit of sugar goes a long way towards calming a child’s potential obsession. If you take sugar out of the diet entirely, you might find yourself with a sugar-fixated child.
Trying to fight a kid’s natural tendency to love sweets is a battle very few parents will win.
Is there anything we can do? Or are we destined for failure?
We can guide our children to make good decisions, focus on the foundations of a balanced diet at home and teach them to enjoy and savour sweets as a sensible part of their diet.
Do you feel you have tried everything and nothing has worked so far? Then read on...
Guide children instead of controlling.
I believe in guiding kids to think independently about food from a very young age. If you don’t teach your children to make healthy decisions regarding food then they won’t be prepared for being an independent adult.
Inspire children to enjoy food, make them interested. Tell them, or even better, show them where it comes from. Take them to a farm or a supermarket, let them choose what they want to try. Let them play with it, get messy. There are plenty of beautiful books out there about growing, producing and cooking food. Does your local kids’ library have a seperate food section? Ask a librarian, they will be happy to help.
2. Use Division of Responsibility - a term coined by feeding expert Ellyn Satter.
DoR acknowledges what each, the child and the parent are responsible for when it comes to feeding. It gives parents a clear understanding of their feeding role; it is the parent's job to set the structure for meals and snacks. This means you decide WHEN and WHERE eating opportunities happen. You also decide WHAT food is made available and you take responsibility for the content of meals. Children have a natural ability to self-regulate IF and WHAT they eat.
This approach empowers kids to become competent eaters when given an appropriate eating environment. (BTW we talk about DoR a lot during all our workshops, we truly believe it’s a brilliant rule)
3. Don’t make sweets the enemy.
People use ‘good’ or ‘bad’ to describe food as if you are ‘good’ or ‘bad’ for eating them. This only leads to guilt and stress overeating! You are not good for eating kale and bad for eating ice cream!
Also, labeling foods “bad” can make them even more desirable. When people of all ages see certain foods as “forbidden,” they are more likely to be preoccupied with thoughts of those foods and crave them more intensely.
4. Teach kids to savour it.
“If you don’t love it, don’t eat it… and if you love it, savour it.” Evelyn Tribole, coauthor of “Intuitive eating”
There’s no right or wrong way of eating, but rather, a variety of ways and food experiences. Teaching your child to eat healthfully and mindfully can start as early as toddlerhood. While mindfulness seems like a new health trend, your child is born a pro. Infants and toddlers are connected to their senses; they look, feel, smell and taste their food before they eat. The younger the child, the closer he is to mindful eating. Keep in mind that preferences and awareness may change over time, even as adults!
Talk about food. Toddlers are learning colors, shapes, and textures and food is the perfect teaching tool. Use this new vocabulary to talk about whatever is on their plate. Think of new ways to describe carrots! Are they crunchy or mushy? Sweet or bland? Hard or overcooked? Kids who are discovering the language enjoy games like this immensely.
Talk with your kids about what healthy food is. They don’t have a big understanding of health, so start with the basics. Instead of classifying food into good and bad, teach them that some food will help them grow, get tall, become strong, play more or run fast.
5. Create a flexible sweets policy.
There are a lot of variations of the sweets policy you can adopt for your family. You can have them once a day, after dinner or only at weekends or you might want to trust your kids entirely and let them have treats whenever they want. The most important thing is that you talk with your kids and come up with a regular sweet offering that everyone can feel comfortable with. This helps because kids understand when they can expect sweets, making them okay with the times you say no.
If you want to talk about building healthy eating habits, give book your free consultation HERE.